” The Apple of my Eye “
“The Tathagata is the Great Teacher of the Triple Realm and the compassionate father of beings of the four kinds of births. He has the respect and reverence of the entire assembly. What is the reason that he now bows to a pile of dried bones?”
In the Vipassana meditation course at the end of June, Master mentioned about the time that the Buddha spoke about mother’s kindness and virtue. Mother is the source of the great sacrifice because she is a sincere devotee for the happiness of others. All around I heard Vipassana practitioners sobbing with touching tears. Master’s teachings made them realized mother’s boundless kindness, great sacrifice and deep devotion. She keeps her overwhelming love for the happiness of her beloved child without her life’s concern.
Once Buddha said to Ananda, “If when men are in the world, they enter temples, listen to Dhamma, observe the precepts, make obeisance to the Triple Gem, and recite the Buddha’s names, then when they die, their bones will be heavy and white in color. Most women are less wise and more emotional than men. That’s why they tend to be more enchanted with affection. They have a huge responsibility of giving birth and raising their children, which is a woman’s duty. When they give birth to one child, they need to feed him milk, and that milk is a transformation of a lot of the mother’s blood. Each child can drink up to one thousand two hundred gallons of his mother’s milk. This causes women not to have a fully good health, to become thin and have dry and rough skin. So, their bones turn black and are light in weight.”
When Ananda heard these words, he felt so grateful and sad that his tears ran down.
Master Acharavadee Wongsakon always cultivates the seed of gratitude in the mind of her students. I myself have the highest gratitude when I met with Master. She always teaches and conveys the love of mother to her students.
“A child is the apple of my eye.” These are words that my mom always told me said Master.
A mother sometimes complains her kids. Sometimes she scolds them. That is because she faces a huge pressure and tolerance. However, her love and care for her child have never faded away. When I saw my mom being hospitalized with a big needle through her neck, on that day I wished for nothing but only for my mom to be free from suffering and the severe sickness. Then I took her in a wheelchair to a supermarket so that she could enjoy one fine day again. Everything will come to an end. Everyone will encounter sickness, loss and death. I was lucky that I had that one good day before my mom passed away. Iced coffee, crackers, gummy tamarind plum and mangosteens are her last appetite that she chose by herself. After that she had no right to pick up anything. She was allowed to eat only hospital diets and take medicines. I did not force my mom to always listen to Dhamma to prepare for her dead because she already knew Dhamma about loss and grief long ago. I let her listen to what she wanted, say what she wanted and let her tell her stories about her happy days.
No need to feel slight if you think that your mom does not love you. If there are some reasons that your mom left you, please believe that her love to you is kept somewhere inside her heart. This is because of destiny.
On the important day, if possible you should bring your mom out and let her do and choose things that she wants. Listen to her words. And you must pay attention to what she says because this may be your last chance. Do everything like the whole world is her world.
I would like to convey the message to all daughters and sons who cannot go home on Mother’s Day because of their work or other pressure in life. Although today you cannot achieve your dream, you should not keep your feeling inside without telling your mom because encouragement is powerful. If you cannot find her any perfect gifts, you can give her encouragement. You may feel such kind of gift maybe too little but for mom it could be an enormous gift for her.
…Mom, on the coming Mother’s Day I would like to take you to dine out, although I cannot afford it.
I want to buy you a new dress, although my shirt is old, and my shoe is ragged.
I want to buy you a new little house, although I rent an old and tiny apartment.
I want to take my mom to see the world where she prefers, although I have never been on a plane.
I want to take you to practice meditation, although I cannot take leave.
Mom, I have grown up and experienced that this world is full of pressure in almost everything.
It was so different when I was with you. I had a shelter in the storm. I had food to eat and medicine to cure my sickness.
I had your hand to lead me across the road.
Although today I cannot take care of you, at least I want to tell you my intention
that I want to do for you.
Mom, you love me more than enough.
But I always keep looking for love from other people.
It may seem that I love you less.
I may not say this often
because it seems like I keep this word for other people
I love you, Mom.
And one day I will do everything I dream of
For you who love me for a really long time, and I believe that
You will love me till your last breath
Because you were born to love me…. weren’t you?
Dearest Mom…I salute you
A mother is destined to love someone, and many people were born from mother’s bond.
A mother is the one that never gives up, despite the struggles. But we always give up the love for her.
Don’t give up on the duty of a child. Don’t give up the love for your mom.
Our master is a role model of the most gracious mother. She is a mother in term of Dhamma who gave birth to all students on this wonderful Dhamma land. She dedicates to convey the power of Dhamma to her students in every way that she can. She gives us a chance to practice the perfections to find noble treasures. She gives us everything countlessly more than an ordinary person can give to these many people in one life.
On the important occasion of this coming Mother’s Day, I would like to recall impressive words from our master. “I gave it all even my life.” This sentence really touched the heart of all students. She said this before returning to do her mother duty for her family because in the past she concentrated on giving her students everything until that day came…
On August 5, I was flying to America with my family. It was very risky to go on the 18-hour flight with the weakest body condition. My senior student pleaded to me not to go. I only said in short, “No.” I had no energy to say anything more. My mind said….
“I gave it all…. I gave you everything entirely even my life. I want to live my life a little longer to spend time with my family. If today my life is over, I wish to die in my family’s arms because I took my 18-year time from them. I want them to feel that I am really with them, not that I only concentrate on my students and work. I do not want them to think that there is no room for them. If I am dying now, I want my daughters to know that mom has never neglected or abandoned them….”
Remember this, you are… in the eyes of Triple Gem and the Angels.
I gave it all… even my life. Bodhi mind kept saying this.
I did give it all.
When we are still alive, how can we truly repay the favor and kindness of both a Dhamma mother and worldly mother that would be equally reasonable for the new life that we got? May you all have firm gratitude and courage to express the overwhelming love in your mind to your mother. I rejoice in your grateful mind.
Source: What Master’s Teaching “Speak my mind…to my mom” August 11, 2015 and ” I gave it all ” July 9, 2017”
Translation: Wichuda Kaiskaew