Although there are both up and down in term of virtue in the society, it is pleased to see that people in the society still value the arrangement of wedding ceremony regarding to the tradition of different culture.
For a couple who have been staying together for a long time without getting marriage, this would not be good for a woman who wish to live a married life. The man may forget to think of her parents and care for her feelings.
The ones who have virtue would have common sense to respect their own tradition. A good wedding ceremony would include respect to the parents of both sides with close relatives as witnesses. It does not mean that the ceremony needs to be big. To follow the tradition in this way, it would be a good conduct and a merit as according to the fourth items of 10 bases of meritorious action, which is reverence or to respect the one that should be respected.
Any actions that show disrespect to the parents of either sides would be blameworthy. Apart from that the third precept is not only to abstain oneself from having an affair with someone else besides your couple but also not to act incorrectly from their beautiful tradition. The couple who live together but do not hold a wedding ceremony, which is to show respect to their parents, would not completely observe all the percepts. And if there is any further bad behavior, it would mean to break the percepts.
I said this not because I create this story by myself, but my knowing mind told me about the rule in the spiritual world.
If you break or cannot completely observe all the percepts, the results of Kamma will affect you and your children in the future. If Kamma is on your children, when they get married they will not receive respect from the other family. They will feel neglected, inferior and sad that they are not accepted or valued by other people. This can then cause them to have suffering in mind.
Thus, to begin a couple life, one should begin in the right way. Begin by following morality and tradition. This will bring you virtue and happiness in life.
Do not consider “modernism” without tradition as it may not only hurt the parent’s feeling of either sides, but also lead to incomplete precepts or breaking the precepts.
To live a couple life is not just to understand each other, but also understand the feeling of their own parents as well as understand and respect their own tradition.
Master Achravadee Wongsakon
17 August 2018